empty.*

*trigger warning: the topic is eating disorders. please do not read if this will hurt you in any way, but please DO listen to the music i have chosen if you still want to experience the post. ❤

she stopped eating.

food felt foreign in her mouth and each little crumb she took in crawled creepily down her throat. little by little, she shrank and she drank all the diet coke she could get her hands on.

diet cokes and rowing strokes of nightly workouts on the bedroom floor, in secret, in darkness, in feverish fear, did transform the body into thinness over time. this body didn’t fit, it never had, and it was still too big for her, even then.

the stones in her bones cracked as she ran her way down skinny lane, and she created a picture perfect pretty little thing, the kind of pretty little thing that people might love. clawing her way to the goal of what she thought was luxurious love, she found only a cliff and the embrace of the elegant, eternal abyss.

she’d never felt so powerful. and so dead.